Bertie’s Statement ; A translation

The full text of Bertie’s statement can be found here . It is a fact the Tribunal have no corrupt findings against Bertie. Still the statement is long and over reaching and when on the back foot a politician should always keep the statements as short as possible. There’s less for journalists to pick apart…..

Bertie never the master of clear and concise communications one can only assume this statement was drafted by someone well skilled in the nuanced language of plausible deniability. Here is a translation for breakfast roll man.

I saw the bleedin story them wafflers up at dat tribunal came out with today. Not worth the 91 grand per page its printed on. Infactaaa Ya , Ya , Ya …wouldn’t use it for lighting the fire.

I want to tell yis that I have have given my bleedin heart and soul as an elected politician for over 30 years. Infacta…. I have dedicated my life to politics and serving de interests of de Irish people in politics. I have never accepted a bribe or a corrupt payment…. not even ah aahh breakfast roll.

De , de , de , Tribunal into de plannin was established to inquire into allegations of planning consumption in Dublin. They spent a whole decade inquiring , Infacta , if they had went any bleedin slower they’d have been stopped. De Tribunal has not made – nor could it make – a finding to support the scurrilous and untrue allegation that I had been given a corrupt payment by Mr Owen O’Callaghan or any of his companies. Don’t even know the bloke….dat well

On dis issue there is no evidence whatsoever to show I received anything from Mr O’Callaghan. De Tribunal were up every tree in dublin and found nuthin.

De , De , De only reason de Tribunal was allowed to interrogate me was the entirely untrue and otherworldliness allegation that I had received money from Owen O’Callaghan. Without that allegation (which in truth was no more than spoofing by spoofers) it had no bleedin right at all to carry out anys inquiry into my finances and a trawl of my personal life’s.

From de report it is as clear as mud, not a single witness at de Tribunal directly said that I was given a bribe (other than Mr Thomas Gilmartin who is a waffler). And he stated he was only repeating what he claimed he had been told by Owen O’Callaghan. Mr O’Callaghan was always clear that he never made that claim. Its all a matter of throwing white elephants and red herrings at each other.

And il tell yis another ting, I had nothing at all, at all to do with the rezoning of de lands at Quarryvale. Sure who’d build a bleedin gaff in a Quarry . I was not a councillor on Dublin County Council and never exercised planning or zoning super powers in respect of that site.

I am disappointed de Tribunal has said that I failed to give “a truthful account.” Their testicles reached into every aspect of my life. That statement is a blatant lie and inaccurate having regard to the evidence. It is one that I cannot and I will never accept and I will continue to examine ways in which to syndicate my name.

I was honest with de Tribunal and I gave it truthful evidence and I reject completely any suggestion that I did otherwise. Why wont yis believe me?????

Infacta……. what I find most remarkable is that even where dere is no evidence to the contrary, in many instances, my evidence has been summarily rejected and no good reason has been set out for why this is the case. FACT

Im …..im… Im incredulous that de Tribunal has made findings rejecting the evidence of a number of individuals – including a number of friends who gave me a dig out –whose evidence was the same as mine , why are yis so bleedin surprised at dat ????. In the case of almost every person who gave me the dig out, their explanations were not challenged at de hearings in any substantial way. I believe this is fundamentally unfairness. Like eh eh eh the Dubs being forced to play against kerry with 12 men.

I find it extraordinary that de Tribunal has also disregarded the expert evidence that was given to it on tax, accounting and banking matters which supported me.

In particular, I believe that the lotion that I got large sums of sterling and dollars is objectionable, inaccurate and without an iota of foundation or make up.

Given the significance of the issue, this conclusion is all the more surprising because it has been arrived at without launching the resources of a forensic accountant or an independent banking witness. Its not bleedin CSI i tell yis.

The Tribunal had unlimited resources available to it. The boom times were boomier so they had all de bleedin monies they wanted.

I find it startling and disturbing dat despite its resources, the Tribunal did not deploy any relevant experts but at the same time, declined to hear my expert banking witness to establish whether in fact their hypnosis could form the basis of any finding about foreign currency.

I note that de Tribunal’s report does not explain why de Tribunal did not call my expert in evidence, but still contradicted his conclusions. There was nothing unusual about a minister for finance not having a bank account. Jays-us sure don’t yis all wish now ye had no bank accounts.

I have accepted before that my personal finances were chaotic and this arose from a busy and personally traumatic period in my life. Infactaaaa in between winnings on de horses and the trips to Manchester for de dig-outs , i was all over the bleed-in shop.

I have apologised for any concern that this has caused people but I have never done anything wrong or illegal. Jays-us lads why wont yis feckin believe me…..

I have never received a corrupt payment and I have never done anything demeaning to any officers I have held. I know that some people will feel that some aspects of my personal finances are unusual and that in retrospect it is obvious I was wrong not to have paid more attention to my financial affairs and records.

I truly regret if this has caused any confusion or worry in people’s minds. All of these issues arose in a period when my family, personal and professional situations were rapidly changing and I made the best decisions I could in the circumcised manner in which I found myself. I have long said that if I could go back in time like yer man from back to the future I would do things differently, and for that confusion I am sorry. But I must repeat I never took a bribe , corrupt payment or breakfast roll.

I never made a political indecision in return for a payment.

I hid nothing. I gave de Tribunal unfettered access to all my financial records, and after years of investigation, dis Tribunal has not made any finding of corruption against me. I have told the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God to dis Tribunal, and I reject strongly any suggestion that I sought to lead this tribunal on some sort of jigs and reels up a merry garden path.

Off to Fagan’s

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About Paul Duggan

Politics, humour, Liberal, Curmudgeon, Rogue. Creator and author of Irish Shades of Grey.
This entry was posted in Irish current affairs, Irish Politics and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Bertie’s Statement ; A translation

  1. Pingback: THIS WEEK I’VE BEEN READING « Random Ramblings and Musings

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