Predictions for 2012

Like Nostradamus I too have looked into the future , I have read the tea leaves , deciphered the runes , consulted with the Oracle of Delphi down the local and have had visions of what lies in wait for us in 2012.

Politics

If 2011 is anything to go by it would be a very confident person that tries to predict the Irish politics of 2012. The government majority is secure , of course some TD’s will jump ship for the sake of the parish pump , but this Coalition is not going anywhere. If there is one thing Fianna Fail have taught the current Government is that you may well hang in their till the bitter end. Keep an eye on the household charge’s controversy and a number of TD’s may be forced to spend time in Mountjoy.

We will have number of referenda that are likely to take place on the one day. A rerun of the botched Oireachtas inquiries referendum . The children’s rights referendum is the one everyone will be watching. Hopefully the wording is not botched or starts a bitter debate and it will be something we can unite behind. One downside to the debate is we will have to listen to David Quinn giving out about gay people raising children , the sanctity and scarcity of marriage and how wearing a condom is kidnapping. We will also have a Seanad reform referendum. All 3 May have to be held on the same day , as a nation our stand alone turnout for referendums is abysmal.

Finance

Once again those wacky financial whizz kids at the ECB and our own Central bank will conspire to fix our recession and will inadvertently make it far worse. As per usual the law of unintended consequences will far-reaching ramifications resulting in everyone bailing on the euro or Germany bailing everyone out. Frau Merkel will be named Chancellor of Europe for life after achieving through financial means what the Germans failed to do in World War 1 and 2.

Ireland will revert to the Punt. We will all be broke and happy with our lot. We will pay 69 pence tax for every pound earned while stuck in our 2 bedroom bijou , half house half apartment that you can’t swing a cat in. We will spend the next 5 years trying to get the housing market going again which is akin to trying to jump-start a JCB with a Duracell battery.

With the deficit actually increasing long-term , there is probably going to have to be some form of sovereign debt forgiveness or reduction other wise we shall be heading the way of the Greeks and or leaving the Euro.

Sport 

Gaelic football in recent years has been slowly morphing into some sort of hybrid game of Basketball and Soccer-ball.  I don’t hold out for this years championship being anymore exciting than the previous years , the physicality has been lost. Once it was a place where men were men and there wasn’t a drop of hair gel to be seen. What next players doing a spot of modeling ? Cant see past the usual suspects in the semi finals and then probably Kerry to win it. Kilkenny or Tipperary for the hurling. My beloved Rebel County are rebuilding cough cough……

Soccer-ball , I don’t care who wins the premiership because I am not from England im from Cork , Not Manchester , Liverpool or Glasgow for the matter. Nothing brings out the childish on Twitter like rival premiership fans going at it. Usually two fellas who have never been to Manchester or Liverpool from Leitrim…. On the upside the country will be going on the lash for the summer after we top our Euro 2012 group get to the semis and lose on penalties to Germany.

The Olympics , Between horses getting doped , Kenny Egan cutting swathe through the women of Dublin , I am not sure I want any more Gold medal winners. We do gallant losing quite well as a nation , it is our forte , more of the same expected.

Showbiz

TV3’s Expose will be renamed Exposed and will only feature girls with makeup and nothing else on. That looks to be the direction it’s heading anyway….. Paul Galvin will retire and go into modeling full-time. Mankini’s will be his forte. RTE will finally succumb to over masturbation of its own stars and will only feature fellow RTE Radio and TV co-workers being interviewed about their books and projects.

Georgia Salpa will do another reality tv show , Roseanne Davidson will feature every week in the Sindo Life magazine. Eastenders will still be a cess pit of misery and Fair City will have been shelved to save money , Ok so the last one is a wish…..

All the above is irrelevant of course because the world is apparently ending …. So ya may quit your job, sell the house, drink the money and pray to God the Mayans were right.

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About Paul Duggan

Politics, humour, Liberal, Curmudgeon, Rogue. Creator and author of Irish Shades of Grey.
This entry was posted in Irish current affairs, Irish Politics, Irish Showbiz, Sport and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Predictions for 2012

  1. TalentCoop says:

    Re Soccer-ball – ‘because i am not from England im from Cork’
    Everyone knows, England is a country, whereas Cork, ………..in the minds of all who come from it, is vastly superior!

    Loved the predictions and ‘if only’ to the last para, hic!

    ,

  2. irishminx says:

    Love it Paul, very funny.

    “.and pray to God the Mayans were right.”

    Check it out 😉

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